DALLAS — Barstool Sports owner Dave Portnoy was back in Dallas doing his viral "One Bite Review" – much like he did earlier this year for the NBA Finals when his Boston Celtics played the Mavericks – with some State Fair of Texas flair.
Portnoy was in town attending the Red River Rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma, but he said he'd be stopping by a day early to "do infinity one bite reviews of everything" from the Fair Park grounds.
"I'm excited and scared," Portnoy quipped in his post on X last week.
State Fair of Texas One Bite Review: Fletcher's Corny Dogs -- 7.3
On Tuesday, he made good on his promise, grabbing a Fletcher's Original Corny Dog and diving in right at Big Tex's feet ... and, well, apparently not expecting the hot dog awaiting inside.
"Oh, it's a hot dog?" he said after taking his first bite. "You're supposed to put mustard on it? I had no idea there was a hot dog in there."
After making what he called the "bizarro world" discovery that is corn dogs, what was Portnoy's verdict?
"I'll go 7.3 on it," he said, adding the caveat he prefers hot dogs over corn dogs. "Maybe it's an acquired taste."
His audience on X (formerly Twitter) immediately reacted to Portnoy apparently never having tried a corn dog before, with one person writing: "How is this even possible?"
State Fair of Texas One Bite Review: Rousso’s Cotton Candy Bacon on a Stick -- 6.4
On Thursday, Portnoy grabbed one of the specialties of this year's fair, Rousso’s Cotton Candy Bacon on a Stick.
Portnoy prefaced the tasting by saying he got "run out of the state of Iowa" for saying he didn't love bacon.
"People were coming at me with pitchforks," Portnoy said.
Portnoy seemed bewildered at the first bite, not knowing what to expect.
"If someone can eat four of these and not die then they're a bigger man than I am," he said. "If I ate one of these I'd be on the floor."
Portnoy said he thought he would hate it, that he didn't, but that he couldn't have more than one bite.
"If I had to eat this to live I'd go a 6.4, survival scale," Portnoy said. "You have to be a Texas person to eat this."
State Fair of Texas One Bite Review: Deep Fried Pickle Pizza & Fried Matcha -- 5.9? Nope, 0.0 / 8.1
Portnoy also posted Thursday his review of the Deep Fried Pickle Pizza and Fried Matcha.
He said if you judge a book by its cover the pizza was a 0.0, but that's not how it works. He said he'd never had anything like it ... and he never will again.
"Because these guys are great, 5.9 on the pickle pizza," Portnoy said. "You will never eat anything like this ever again. This is the most unique pizza I've ever had."
After walking away, Portnoy said the pickle pizza was a 0.0 and "the worst thing he's ever had."
Moving on to the fried matcha, Portnoy liked this item much more than the others. He gave it the highest score of the State Fair of Texas foods – an 8.1.
"This is actually good," he said. "If I could just stay here the rest of the day, I'd be good."
State Fair of Texas One Bite Review: Fernie's GOAT Funnel Cake -- 8.8
Just when you thought he'd had his best meal at the State Fair of Texas, Portnoy got the GOAT Funnel Cake from Fernie's. He loved it and gave it a new high score on this trip of an 8.8
State Fair of Texas One Bite Review: Fried PB&J & Nevins Ice Cream Nutty Bar -- 6.1, 7.9
Portnoy prefaced in his review of the fried PB&J that he's never been a "big peanut butter and jelly" guy, but rather a "peanut butter and (marshmallow) fluff" guy – so sans the jelly.
He gave the fried PB&J a 6.1, but again noted the score isn't fair because he isn't a fan of regular PB&Js.
The Nevins Ice Cream Nutty Bar got a 7.9.
State Fair of Texas One Bite Review: Hot Cheetos Korean Corn Dog & Standing On Business -- N/A, 5.8
Portnoy tried the Hot Cheetos Korean Corn Dog and "was speechless."
"I have nothing to say," he continued.
Portnoy did not give a score for the Hot Cheetos Korean Corn Dog.
After trying the "Standing On Business," Portnoy said he "never wants to eat this particular combination ever again." He said the different parts, individually, work for him but not together. He said in comparison to the Pickle Pizza, it's a 10. But against a normal meal, Portnoy gave it a 2.
After considering it all, he officially gave the Standing On Business a 5.8.
"It's just stacking things that have no business being together," he said.
'Pillow hell'
Portnoy's stay in Dallas got off to a bit of a bumpy start. He checked into the Thompson in downtown Dallas, but changed hotels in the middle of the night, moving to a JW Marriott. In a follow up video posted in the middle of the night, the Barstool owner ranted about being in "pillow hell."
When Portnoy, a noted diehard Celtics fan, came to Dallas to attend Games three and four of the NBA Finals, he tried two local pizza shops: Pizza Leila and Louie's.
The State Fair of Texas is obviously famous for its outside-the-box, supremely unique food items. Here's a list of some of the new ones coming this year.
Portnoy's reaction to these foods is sure to be top-tier entertainment. WFAA will update this story with the rest of his "One Bite" reviews as he posts them.
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